Oh Shiet
by AliceTheVampire
Summary: A funny script featuring The charectors of Twilight! More to come!
1. Chapter 1

Bella** Edward**_ Emmett_ Alice

Hehehehehehheeeeee  
**O.o**_  
Bella?_  
YESSS?!  
What IS wrong with you?  
Suuuuuuugarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  
**Sugar? What sugar?**  
Jasper dared me to eat pure sugar. So I eated it. SUGGGGARRRRR  
Oh god  
**What??!!**  
_Sugar rush._  
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE Edward I'ma bite 'cha!  
**o.o Why, dare I ask?**  
CAUSE I'VE NEVER EATED A PIRATE  
_Bella?_  
Whaaaaaaaaaaat?  
_We aren't pirates…_  
teartear  
**YOU MADE HER CRY!**  
_I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!_  
**EMMETT!!!!! flame eyes**  
_Oh shiet runs_  
**ROOOOARRRR**  
Idiots .   
teartear  
For the love of god Bella, stop crying.  
I wanna Popsicle  
No  
WHY?  
No more sugar.  
TearTear  
**Edward suddenly appears What's wrong?**  
Alice meeean I need a Popsicle!  
**Why do you need a Popsicle?**  
Cause I will die if I don't.  
**You will not.**  
It's a human thing!  
**Liar.**  
Dramatically pretends to faint and falls to ground  
**Bella?!**  
You killeded me!  
**I whateded you?**  
Eats Popsicle  
HEY!!!!  
grin yummm  
I WANT  
_Appears, missing one arm_  
**O.O Alice why are you eating a Popsicle.**  
Blood flavor.  
**O.****O**** How'd you find a blood flavored Popsicle??**  
Grin I took a strawberry one…and I … added the flavor.  
**O.****O****Bella?**  
weep Popsiclllle. Huh? What?  
**Where's Charlie?**  
grin  
**Oh shiet**  
Oh shiet  
_Oh shiet_


	2. Chapter 2

I enjoy making these, so I thought I'd make another:D

**Edward** Bella **Jacob** Jasper

Setting: Edward and Bella are on the couch, Edward is reading the newspaper and Bella is bored.

-Sigh-

**-Ignores-**

SIGH!

**-glances- What?**

I didn't say anything

**Ok…..**

Stop staring at me.

**-Raises eyebrow then continues reading paper-**

….-licks-

**O-O Did you just lick me?**

NO!

**Yes you did**

Did not!

-Appears-

**You just-!**

Hi Jasper!

**Heyyy!**

Hi Bella.

-jumps up and runs at Jasper with arms out wide-

-moves just before impact-

-Slams into wall- bitchhhh

oO

**What the hell Bella?**

-Tear- -tear-

**-APPEARS- YOU HURT BELLA RARARAR –Lunges at Jasper-**

oO -dodges and puts out leg, watching Jacob fall-

**WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?**

Jakey Wakey! Me want some bakey

**MUST MAKE BELLA BAKEY**

Yaaaaay me like jakey!

**What am I? Chopped liver? I'm making Bella the bakey around here…..wait…what the hell is bakey?**

**ME MAKE BELLA BAKEY! –runs off-**

...Edward go check on him

**Why do I have to?**

Because.

**But he's your friend.**

So? Go check on him.

**How about we both check on him?**

Ok.

_-NO-ONE MOVES-_

**Why aren't you checking on him Bella?**

Because I don't like Bakey.

**Then why would you ask for it?**

Wait, what is bakey?

I want crack.

**WHAT?!!!**

-gives Edward angelic look- PLE-

**NO!!!!!**

…Bella you've had enough crack…

**EXCUSE ME? WHO GAVE BELLA CRACK?**

The crack man.

**Who?**

Shhhh…..secrettttt.

The crack man! Nununununu CRAAACK MANNNN

**Oo**

When someone needs some time alone, who ya gunna call?!

CRACK MAN!

**You guys are insane.**

Are we? ARE WE EDWARD?

**Yes. You are.**

Hey Jasper

Wha?

I hear Crack Man is getting his own TV show.

No wai!

Psha wai!

Lyke omg

'Cha! I lyke know!

**You've got to be kidding me, now you two are a couple of high school girls?**

Lyke, of COURSE we are silly man! That's you!!! Mr. Silly Man!.

**There's only one way to get through this day?**

Lyke how Mr. Silly man??

**Jasper….do you have any more crack?**

-grin-

-grin-


	3. Chapter 3

Yay

Yay! Another! I just wanna thank everyone for reading these and loving them :D

Edward, Bella and Jacob are trapped on an island

Bella: All we have to eat are cocanuts!

Edward: You spelled coconuts wrong.

B: I just said it! How'd you know how I spelled it?

E: I just do.

B: ….where'd Jacob go?

J: -jumps out of hidden passage in ground- Hey guys! –Completely drunk-

E: WTF?!

B: OMG! It's that hidden passage thing from Pirates of the Caribbean!

E: When did you ever watch- Oh never mind.

J: -Hands Bella bottle- have sum rum. AHAHAHA SUM RUM!! RHYYYYYYYME

B: Yummeh

E: NOEH –takes bottle and smashes it.

B: -tear- -tear- Why is the rum gone?

E: We need to get off this island.

J: BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE? –charges at Edward-

E: -rolls eyes and puts palm on Jacob's forhead, laughing as Jacob trys to swing and strike Edward-

J: I AM A DIONSAAAAAAUR ME EAT VAMPIRES.

E: Since when do dinosaurs eat vampires?

B: -sigh- Edward, Edward, Edward keep up with the times! Dinosaurs eat vampires, pirates eat- god I need to pee. –shuffles away-

E: Oo lovely.

J: Can I watch?

E: NO!!

B: Hehehehe Edwarddd wants to waaatch!

E: -blush- I never said!-

B: PERVERT!!

E: What?!

J: RUN AWAY FROM THE PERVERT!

_-Jacob and Bella run away-_

E: Wait a minuet, how'd Bella get drunk?

James: dudududududududududududdudud

E: -stomps on-

Ja: Owwww

E: I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.

Ja: I thought you were gay! That's another rude awakening now isn't it?

E: Wtf does that mean?

Ja:  Zat I vant choo.

E: OO…. Bellaaaaa?

Ja: -walks slowly towards Edward- You make me want to do the Cha cha cha.

E: BELLLLLAAAAA!

Ja: Muhahhahaha

E: -girly screem-

J: Oh moi gawd was that you? BAHAHAHAHAHA

B: Edwardsss a girrrrrrrl

E: Where'd he go?!

J: Who?

E: HIM!

B: huh?

E: JAMES!

B: -Gaspeth- wait...James's dead Eddie.

E: NO HE- did you just call me Eddie?

B: Maybeh

E: But you've always called me Edward o.o

B: Maybe I'm sick of calling you Edward?

E: Why?

B: Cause.

E: But why?

B: Just Becau- WHY DOES JACOB KEEP DISSAPEARING?!

E: -glances- Quickly! This way!

B: Huh?

E: -Grabs Bella then jumps in a boat-

B: Where'd the boat come from?

E: -gives Bella mesmerizing loving stare- Repeat after me Bella. The boat was here, we are the only one's on the island, and we are going home.

B: -repeats what Edward says-

E: Gooood girrrl –pats-

B: Popsicle?

E: Maybe later

B: NOW! –tips boat-

E: -falls into water and starts melting- WTF? I'm melting!

B: WITCHHHHHHH

E: OO NUUU! Bella I loooooovee youuuuuu –dies-

B:-shrugs- Shoulda given me a Popsicle you turd.


End file.
